My First Time

Every Michael Jackson fan used to dream about visiting Neverland one day.  For me this dream came true 7 years ago today…

As a child I always wondered where Santa Ynez was located, and as an adult it never once occurred to me to look up the address and drive there.  I assumed everything about Michael was top secret and confidential.  Back then I was kind of clueless and not very active online and the only fan friend I had was my good friend Paul who I had met in 1993 at the super bowl.  After the horror of the allegations in 2003, Paul called me one day to tell me about a party at Neverland.  Didn’t know any other fans or how to get on the list, but still decided to drive up there for the first time. 

Early Saturday morning, December 20^th, 2003, I picked up Karin, my friend’s sister who I had just learned was an MJ fan, and we headed up north on the 101.  After a two hour drive we reached the gates and saw a few parked cars and news vans.  It was still early and no cars were going in yet.  While waiting, we met a few other fans.  None of us were “invited” so we stood around for hours while rows and rows of cars started showing up and driving inside.  Traffic was backed up all the way down Figueroa Mountain Rd. with cars full of fans holding signs and banners and blasting MJ music.  But of course not all of them were fans.  Some friends, some locals and some miscellaneous people were there also to support Michael as he was getting ready to face some tough times.

Knowing that standing out there was pointless, I decided to try and get in.  We got in line with the other cars and drove through the gates and pretended our names were on the list.  It didn’t work and Violet asked us to pull over to the side and wait for her.  Lucky for us this was a crowded situation.  There were 5 or 6 rows of cars just past the brown gates, getting checked in and signing forms.  Instead of pulling over to the side and waiting, we just moved a couple of lanes and continued forward until the next security came up to us with forms and passes.  We were in! 

We got our wristbands and passes and drove through the property for a little while then down the hill to the main gates.  We parked on the left, went through a security check point by the NOI and picked up a t-shirt.  Shirts were being given out near the big tent looking thing that read “Welcome to Neverland Valley Ranch”. Then finally, we walked through the main gates and we were INSIDE neverland!   I wanted to scream and cry out of joy.  I’d been dreaming about this moment for 15 years. 

To the right of us some people waited for the little train.  To the left of us some people were picking out ice cream from the ice cream cart which was placed outside of the little bungalow.  We decided to walk instead of waiting for the train.  I cannot even begin to explain the emotions that ran through me at that very moment.  The view, the atmosphere, the air, the trees, the bronze statues of children, the “Caution: children at play” signs were some of the things that immediately took my breath away. 

It was a long walk before we could really see anything.  We came up to the lake on our left and then walked to the main house.  In front of the house were 3 llamas and a giant snake.  Later we also saw some elephants walking around. 

Behind the main house and past the swimming pool is where the event set up was.  The stage was facing the house and white chairs were placed in front of it in rows and sections. 

We walked past the event set up and came up to the rides: carousel, spider, ferris wheel, zipper, swings, sea dragon, and some rides for younger kids.  We wanted to get on the ferris wheel to see the view from up top but it wasn’t running.  So we asked the staff and one of the other ride operators came over and turned it on for us.  Just as we expected, it was absolutely magical. 

We didn’t want to waste too much time in one place so that was the only ride we got on that day.  We walked back and went up to the train station.  I don’t even know if the big train was running that day but we didn’t have a chance to get on it.  The train station was probably my favorite thing at Neverland.  After a quick walk through, we came back down towards the guest house by the lake.  We saw Rebbie outside and Katherine, who was standing in the doorway, greeted us as we passed by. 

We made our way to grab seats for the event that was scheduled to start at 3pm.  Tons of celebrities were there.  The MC was Tommy Davidson and he first brought up Tisha Cambell who read a poem called “Footsteps in the Sand”.  Then an orchestra started to play during which Michael made his appearance.  He walked from the main house towards the event set up. 

The crowd went crazy and everyone was trying to get close to him.  He walked down the aisle closest to us as he was getting mobbed by the guests.  As he passed us I managed to reach out and touch his hand.  He was looking amazing in his light blue silk shirt (that he wore again for the Ed Bradley/60 minute interview).   

Facing the stage, in the front were 3 beige leather couches.  Michael finally made his way over and sat down on the middle couch.  The orchestra at this point had left the stage and the MC was back up there introducing the Jackson family.  The parents, most of the brothers and sisters and some of their kids and grandkids walked through the aisle and joined Michael on the couches.  Katherine sat on his right and Joseph on his left.  Karen Faye was also there sitting on the ground near Michael along with some of the nieces and nephews.  People kept crowding around from behind to see Michael and security was trying to control the chaos.     

Next on stage was the Andrae Crouch Choir and they sang “Will You Be There” and “I’ll be there”.  The staff at Neverland came on stage and one of them gave a speech and the other recited the same poem as Tisha Cambell had, “Footsteps in the Sand”.  This whole event was not meant to be entertaining so not very well planned.  It was actually drawn-out and boring but in the presence of Michael it didn’t make a difference. 

The emotional part of the night was when David Rothenberg gave a speech and talked about how Michael befriended him and employed him.  He was the burn victim whose father had set him on fire at the age of 6.  There was another guy that spoke who had a similar story but I don’t recall his name.  Once they were done they both walked over to Michael and gave him a hug. 

The show continued with Jermaine singing a song he had written for Michael called “The First Time”.  Others gave speeches including Robert Townsend, Eddie Griffith, MC Hammer, Rodney Jenkins, Darryl Strawberry with his two pastors Paula White and Rob Mallan, and a few others I didn’t recognize. 

Debbie Allan was there too with her dance crew.  She said a few words then the kids went up on stage to dance.  Michael absolutely loved this.  Up until this point he was sitting very still with very little reaction to what was going on.  But seeing these talented kids on stage made him smile, snap his fingers, and tap his feet. 

At some point toward the beginning of the event we had left our seats and had ended up on the side of the stage facing Michael.  He took a break halfway through the show during which we moved around and changed spots again so that we had a clear view of him and the stage.   

At the very end when everyone was done speaking and performing, the MC introduced Michael and he got up to head for the stage.  The screams and cheers were louder than usual.  As Michael approached the steps on the side, security let us run up to the stage.  Needless to say it was chaos and Karin and I were in the front, against the stage, being crushed.  The choir started singing “You Are Not Alone” and Michael waited on the side.  Once the song was almost over he made his way up the steps and grabbed the mic.   He said “thank you” and “I love you” and that was pretty much it.  Everyone that was on stage with him wanted to shake his hand and give him a hug.  Since there were a lot of people up there, security slowly moved him off the stage.  We ran to the side of the stage where 3 black SUVs were parked.  He climbed into one of them with his parents and they drove off. 

After Michael had left, we left that area to enjoy Neverland some more.  Back towards the main house, we played on the trampoline that was near the pool.  Then we headed over to the arcade, which was also by the pool.  Karin and I played the pinball machine for a few minutes then went upstairs to the second floor.  The arcade was too crowded so we left and headed back up to the train station.  TJ was there hanging out near the video game/couch area.  We walked up the narrow winding staircase to the cozy game room.  It was like a tiny family room with a fire place, a Christmas tree, and board games on the coffee table.  The windows overlooked the train tracks.  There was no one there so we sat down for a moment and tried to take it all in. 

After the train station, we walked back down past the main house and over to the bridge.  We sat on the bridge for a little while and enjoyed the surroundings.  The sun had set hours ago, sometime during the long event, so now it was dark and the gazebos and a few other areas were lit with white Christmas lights.  My god Neverland was so magical and breathtaking.  So unbelievably beautiful and impossible to put into words. 

We slowly made our way towards the gates and left Neverland around 8pm.  On our drive home, overwhelmed with everything that had just happened, we realized that we left voluntarily without anyone asking us to leave. 

This support event at Neverland was called “You Are Not Alone”.  It was the start of difficult times, but they were still beautiful memories. 

If you were also there on this day, please feel free to share your story in the comments.   

-Talin